Saturday, January 23, 2016

The World's Best Worst Demon Hunters

Hi everyone.  It's been a hot minute since I updated.  Truth is, I've been busy, unmotivated, and lazy, but I have been playing some cool games with a bunch of fantastic people, and decided to at least somewhat revive the old blog so that I could share neat shit on the internet again.  I've been lucky enough to have a steady group with three other fantastic people who share much of the same opinions on what makes roleplaying awesome as i do.  They also have a homebrew system created by the excellent Eric J. Chucci and The Boy (Robert to the uninitiated). It is called Colt Regan which is based on the books that Eric J. Chucci wrote.  Those books are incidentally the Colt Reagan series, which can be found on Amazon.  If you like pulpy modern horror/fantasy, then they're a good read. They're the book version of if Die Hard crossed over to True Blood with some of Buffy: the Vampire Slayer's pithy fun added in and a mythology that rivals White Wolf's Old World of Darkness.


Hypnoblogger says buy now and give a cool dude enough money to buy some Taco Bell or something.

Now, when I started playing with Eric, Robert, and Eric's lovely wife and my good friend, Brandie, Eric and Robert were testing the system limits to eventually release it as a book.  We played a bunch of not Colt Reganverse stuff, like in space and a parallel Colt Reganverse and D&D 5th edition.  Additionally, Eric had DM (Demon Master, suck it Wizards)-ed himself out of Colt for a while, but recently, he decided to run a game in the Colt-verse for us.  I was excited.  Mostly because Eric is a great DM, and I love modern supernatural horror/fantasy.  He also promised cryptids and horror stuff which are my faves.

The Colt-verse is basically the modern world, but there's supernatural stuff that is widely known.  Vampires have public representation, Therianthropes are widely known about and walk among us, many humans have developed kinesises (so they can like throw things with their mind and raise the dead), and demons travel back and forth from the various outside places they live and chill on Earth for a while.  It's not beyond uncommon for the bartender to have horns and a tail and the server to have fangs.  People can get "hunting licenses" to be bounty hunters and kill rouge supernatural things, but a lot of the hunters are supernaturals as well.  It's a blast.  I'm not 100% sure on everything, because I'm a bad friend and haven't read all of the books yet because of craziness at work, but I've gotten a lot of the down low from Eric and Robert.

Incidentally, their homebrew system is D12 based and is actually really good and easy to use.

I made a character named Mark.  Mark is a nice upper middle class guy from upstate New York who happens to be a Telepath.  He can read surface thoughts, talk in people's brains, and also has a bunch of psychometric powers so that when he touches stuff he can tell the item/person's history.  He also can share sensations, so he can make people feel like they've been shot and stuff.  It's cool, he wears gloves so that he doesn't get TMI.  Mark went to medical school and turned to stealing pain meds to deaden the psychometric sensations he got from patients.  Then he was found out, barred from practicing medicine, went to rehab, was disowned by his waspish family, and currently lives in a Winnebago with his friend, Lenny.

Lenny is a vampire played by Robert.  He and Mark were roommates in college back when Lenny was a human and an unbearable little whiny goth kid.  Despite this, Lenny and Mark became (un)lifelong bros. When Mark was doing his internships, Lenny met a vampire chick named Selina (or something like that), convinced her to turn him, then she dumped him causing (un)lifelong emotional damage.  Mostly now he lives in his Winnebago, drinks blood bags, and plays videogames, and pretends he doesn't secretly still wish Tripp pants were cool again.  He's also a sincerely good friend and has taken a broken and flailing Mark under his wing, despite the fact that Mark's a bit of a cocky, snarky asshole.

The two of them decided that to get Lenny off the couch and give Mark something to do, they'd become paranormal investigators and do demon hunting shit.  The story begins with their Winnebago pulling up to what the DM (Eric) described as "do you remember the cabin from Evil Dead?" after answering a Craig's List add that said that "My cabin is evil.  I'll pay you $1000 to make it not evil."

Also, it was night, so it looked more evil.

There was a car that had pulled in a little ahead of them, and a tall, blonde, severe looking woman in a suitjacket had gotten out.  Brandie introduced her character as Annabelle (Anne), a cryokinetic who had started her own supernatural investigation business after her husband left her destitute and living on her parents' couch in the divorce.  Mark finished his cigarette, they decided to split the $1000, because secretly none of them really wanted to go into the house, Anne produced a bundle of sage from her trunk, and Mark, cocksure of his abilities, took off his glove and touched the house to find out how evil it really was.

Fortunately, my Focus check (Colt's version of both Concentration and Will save) is extremely high, because the house was, in fact, evil.  And possibly dead.  Mark decided to keep the gloves on after this.  There had also been a man with wings on his head, a blonde man, and a deer with a human face in the house recently, although they seemed to have left.  Mark conveyed this information, Anne calmly walked through the door.  Mark and Lenny followed, although Lenny was vocal about not liking any of this like the dweeb he is.  Having the lowest willpower, started screwing with Lenny.  Dark ichor dripped down the walls, although only he could see it, and he decided to go back outside and find the generator to turn on the lights in the house.  As he left, the house whispered to him that he was going to die there.

While Lenny was finding the generator and figuring out how to get it running, Mark and Anne were poking around in every nook and cranny like the white people that always die in horror movies that they are.  Mark decided that there has to be a basement, because there's always a basement and that's where the evil always is, so he started stomping around trying to find a trap door.  Pragmatically, Anne raided the closets, found a cute, old Dr. Pepper t-shirt, and stuffed it into her purse.  By the time Lenny had figured out how to get the generator working and come back inside by tumbling ungracefully through the window, because he'd decided that the door was evil, we'd become certain there was no basement.  Mark announced that the evil must be in the attic, because that was the most logical place left.

To Lenny, and only Lenny, the walls were still bleeding.

They found the hatch to the attic, and Lenny, using his vampire muscles, boosted Mark up to pry it open.  Mark said a brotastic, "thanks, babe."  Their banter and comfortability manhandling each other prompted Anne to ask how long they've been a couple.  Lenny responded that, "they've been together since college," and they left things at that since Mark had gotten the attic door open.  This caused confusion for Anne in the second session, since nobody disillusioned her of her assumption that she was working with a cute, gay, demon hunting couple.  

There was nothing but a creepy mannequin in the attic.  Getting bored of the house, they decided to just purify it by sprinkling around McDonalds salt packets, burning sage, and Lenny performing his goth purifying ritual which basically involved praying under his breath to the power of Bahaus, Siouxie Sioux, and Maynard James Keenan and hoping nobody heard him (in Colt, a big part of exorcisms is just believing something will work hard enough).  Mark felt the spirit roll it's incorporeal eyes and leave the house out of sheer annoyance that these fucking n00bs had managed to stave off it's evil, and he declared it clean.  

Robert Smith, driving out evil spirits for angsty goth kids since we clapped to believe in him.

Anne called the number from the Craigslist add, which was answered by a man saying to meet his associate outside.  We walked outside to find a deer with a human face and backwards knees that started mentally screaming wordless noise at us then introduced herself telepathically as Wishes the Stalker.  Understandably, Anne had her gun drawn, and Lenny had fangs bared.  She then explained that this was a test to find new investigators to be hired for a bigger supernatural investigations group, and she would love it if we went to their home base and accepted the job.  Also, we had to go to the home base to get paid.  She mentally implanted the address in our brains before skipping off into the woods.

Incidentally, the address was in Centralia, Pennsylvania (yes, that Centralia), and we were in Michigan.  One road trip later, and Anne beat the boys to the town by about an hour, because her car is better than Lenny's shitty Winnebago.  She was stopped by the road guard, told that she had to leave her car and walk in and she had to be out by sundown.  She skated off on a path of ice she made with her cryokinetic powers.  An hour later, the boys pulled up, and got to drive in, because Mark told the guard he was dying of cancer and seeing Centralia was on his bucket list.  

Welcome to Centralia, population:our adventurers, like 10 people, and maybe Pyramid Head.

Since it was daylight, Lenny stayed in the Winnebago, and Mark set off into the address, which was an abandoned hotel.  He met Anne in the lobby, where she had waited for them, and a voice came over the intercom for them to get into the elevator and go to the bottom floor.  Because they're the kind of white people that die in horror movies, they hopped into the elevator and pushed the button for the sub-basement.  Luckily, this is a roleplaying game and not a horror movie, because they entered into a nice bunker and met the blonde man that Mark had seen with his psychokinesis at the cabin. He explained that he was forming a supernatural investigation's firm that looked into and cataloged and looked into the weirder aspects of the supernatural world.  He'd pay them pretty well.

They also met an eccentric and brilliant incubus doctor (incubi and succubi have small head wings, so Mark had seen him at the cabin too) who worked with the group.  A second, very manly incubus with chest hair named Apocalypse Creed opened a secret entrance hatch for Lenny so that he could get inside without burning up while Mark snagged a maple creamstick from the office box of doughnuts, and the three decided to join up.  Mark discovered that their new boss had a gun that was actually dead...somehow (thanks telepathy), and we wrapped up the session.

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